Joe Queenan

1. I share a birthday with Andy Rooney and LL Cool J. This fact is the lens through which I view the rest of my life.
2. I’m a lefty. The nuns never bothered me about it.
3. I always give young girls two pieces of advice: put sunscreen on your chest and marry Canadian. The rest seems obvious.
4. I still have every love letter I’ve ever received.
5. I’ve looked everywhere, but it turns out I don’t have a daughter.
6. I’m a member of six secret Facebook groups. I’ve said too much already.
7. I read Pride and Prejudice nearly every year.
8. My favorite movies generally end with a prom.
9. My Christmas tree is up the day after Thanksgiving and on the curb by 8am December 26th.
10. I find that it’s easier raising three kids than it was raising one.
11. I love funerals and the way they bring out the best in people.
12. I hid in my laundry room for an entire week while reading the Twilight series.
13. It always surprises me that you can still get your heart broken as an adult.
14. When I was a child I was sure I’d marry Steve Martin.
15. When I’m deep into a writing project, I’m not listening to anything you’re saying.
16. No, I don’t want to be on your committee.