The Time Warp of Back to School Night

The Time Warp of Back to School Night

As publishished in The Week on October 21, 2015   The cool kids are hanging by the lockers, laughing and talking a little too loud. The nerds are in the classroom early, eager to shake hands with the teacher and nab the seats in the front row. The girls are put...

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Now Extinct: The Cringe-Worthy Prom Photo

Now Extinct: The Cringe-Worthy Prom Photo

As published in The Week on May 27, 2015 As I feverishly photographed my son and his friends before the prom, it occurred to me that something was not right. The boys looked as I expected in black tuxes and combed hair. But the girls were all wrong. Their dresses were...

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Cracking the Dress Code

Cracking the Dress Code

As Published in The Rye Record on April 3, 2015 Some of us need a little extra help getting dressed A few weeks ago, before the thaw, I was invited to a dinner party and was told in plain English to wear a dress. Honestly, I was just as happy to have been told what to...

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Double Identity (or How I Became Irish)

Double Identity (or How I Became Irish)

I am almost always called out of the line at airport security for a “random screening.” Statistically, it can’t be random. I suspect the fact that I’m traveling with a bunch of kids who don’t share my last name has something to do with it, as my stature and demeanor...

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The Siri Relationship

The Siri Relationship

I enjoy my one-sided relationship with Siri. I press a button when I need something and she is always there with the correct answer or a promise of a reminder. In return, she asks nothing of me. I don’t have to respond to any of her needs. Actually, I’ve never even...

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Crisis Concluded, But Not Averted

As published in The Rye Record on January 24, 2014  I’m pleased to announce that my midlife crisis has come to an uneventful conclusion. I have emerged untouched by an obscure tattoo, a tennis pro, or the leather seats of a new sports car. I didn’t even start...

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Paddling Through The Small Stressors

Paddling Through The Small Stressors

As published in The Rye Record on January 11, 2014 I’ve just come back from a vacation where I spent a lot of time on something called The Lazy River. The Lazy River is loop of chlorinated water, just wide enough for two inner tubes, that pulls you along with a gentle...

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There’s Nothing Like An Old Friend

There’s Nothing Like An Old Friend

As published in The Rye Record on December 21, 2013 Valerie and me in 1987. We had it all figured out This summer, I visited my old friend Valerie during a very sad time. We spent our visit in the shadow of this sadness, but to my intense surprise, we found ourselves...

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Tales From the Mammogram

As published in The Rye Record on October 25, 2013 It’s mammogram day. My nerves are a stretched thin as I drive to Greenwich Hospital. All of the songs on the radio are either aggravating or by Pink, a color that’s been getting on my nerves since I woke up. I try to...

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1970s TV Commercials Really Screwed Me Up!

As published in The Rye Record on July 19, 2013Everyone says the media’s ruining our kids. They’re given a warped sense of how people should look, how people behave, and what the real world’s going to be like when they get there. We like to blame the media like it’s...

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