I am almost always called out of the line at airport security for a “random screening.” Statistically, it can’t be random. I suspect the fact that I’m traveling with a bunch of kids who don’t share my last name has something to do with it, as my stature and demeanor aren’t really that menacing. It… Continue Reading
Category Archives: Women and midlife
The Siri Relationship
I enjoy my one-sided relationship with Siri. I press a button when I need something and she is always there with the correct answer or a promise of a reminder. In return, she asks nothing of me. I don’t have to respond to any of her needs. Actually, I’ve never even bothered to ask what… Continue Reading
Crisis Concluded, But Not Averted
As published in The Rye Record on January 24, 2014 I’m pleased to announce that my midlife crisis has come to an uneventful conclusion. I have emerged untouched by an obscure tattoo, a tennis pro, or the leather seats of a new sports car. I didn’t even start wearing cut-off shorts with boots (you’re… Continue Reading
Paddling Through The Small Stressors
As published in The Rye Record on January 11, 2014 I’ve just come back from a vacation where I spent a lot of time on something called The Lazy River. The Lazy River is loop of chlorinated water, just wide enough for two inner tubes, that pulls you along with a gentle current. You travel… Continue Reading
There’s Nothing Like An Old Friend
As published in The Rye Record on December 21, 2013 This summer, I visited my old friend Valerie during a very sad time. We spent our visit in the shadow of this sadness, but to my intense surprise, we found ourselves laughing more often than not. It made no sense and seemed wildly inappropriate, but… Continue Reading
Tales From the Mammogram
As published in The Rye Record on October 25, 2013 It’s mammogram day. My nerves are a stretched thin as I drive to Greenwich Hospital. All of the songs on the radio are either aggravating or by Pink, a color that’s been getting on my nerves since I woke up. I try to remind… Continue Reading
1970s TV Commercials Really Screwed Me Up!
As published in The Rye Record on July 19, 2013 Everyone says the media’s ruining our kids. They’re given a warped sense of how people should look, how people behave, and what the real world’s going to be like when they get there. We like to blame the media like it’s new, like there’s been… Continue Reading
As Time Goes By, I May Be Getting Older
As published in The Rye Record on June 7, 2013 I just saw my 7-year-old neighbor driving his parents’ car down the street. I did what any thinking, responsible adult would do. I rolled down my window, scrunched up my face, and asked, “What the heck are you doing?” “I got my driver’s license,” he… Continue Reading
A Case For Polygamy
As published in The Rye Record on November 17, 2012 I’m starting to really rethink this whole monogamy thing. It sounds kind of racy, and no I haven’t met anyone, but in the aftermath of the Hurricane Sandy nightmare, I find myself in possession of sister wives. And I’m not sure I’m willing to go… Continue Reading
Valentine’s Day Smackdown
As published in The Rye Record on February 10, 2012 My kids watch this unbelievably ridiculous show, “The Deadliest Warrior”, where modern day super nerds re-enact fantasy battles between warriors from various times in history. Examples include Attila the Hun vs. Alexander the Great or Joan of Arc vs. William the Conqueror. I’m not making… Continue Reading
